Toys and Mental Health: The Self-Care Case for Masturbation

Self-care lists are everywhere — bubble baths, journaling, morning walks, digital detoxes. Rarely on that list, despite decades of research supporting it: masturbation. For something so common, it's still surprisingly absent from mainstream conversations about mental wellness. It's time to change that.

Why Masturbation Belongs in Your Self-Care Routine

Self-care is really about anything that helps you regulate stress, reconnect with your body, and feel good in your own skin. Masturbation checks all three boxes.

It's a legitimate stress reliever. Orgasm triggers a release of endorphins and oxytocin — the same "feel-good" chemicals associated with exercise and laughter. These hormones are natural mood boosters and can help take the edge off a hard day.

It can improve sleep. The relaxation response after orgasm, paired with a drop in cortisol (the stress hormone), makes it easier for many people to wind down and fall asleep faster.

It builds body awareness. Spending intentional time with your own body — learning what feels good, what doesn't, and how your body responds to touch — is a quiet but powerful form of self-knowledge. That awareness often carries over into partnered intimacy, too.

It's a private space for pleasure without pressure. Unlike partnered sex, solo play removes performance anxiety from the equation. There's no one to please but yourself, which can make it easier to relax and simply enjoy the moment.

Breaking Down the Stigma

Despite how common it is, masturbation still carries a lot of cultural baggage — shame, secrecy, or the idea that it's something to "grow out of." That stigma doesn't reflect reality. Surveys consistently show that the vast majority of adults masturbate regularly, regardless of relationship status.

Reframing masturbation as a form of self-care — rather than something taboo or purely sexual — can help loosen some of that shame. It's not a consolation prize for not having a partner. It's a legitimate, healthy practice on its own terms.

Making It Intentional

Like any self-care ritual, the benefits tend to show up more when the practice is intentional rather than rushed. A few ways to build that in:

• Set the mood. Dim lighting, comfortable sheets, a playlist — small environmental cues can help signal to your brain that this is dedicated "you time."
• Explore without a goal. Orgasm doesn't have to be the finish line every time. Slowing down and simply noticing sensation can be its own reward.
• Use tools that work for your body. A well-chosen toy can take the guesswork out of solo play, especially for people who find it hard to reach orgasm through touch alone. Body-safe materials (silicone, glass, or stainless steel) and a good lubricant can make the experience more comfortable and enjoyable. You can browse a curated range of body-safe options at Lovenjoy.
• Give yourself permission. This might be the most important step. Treat the time the same way you'd treat any other self-care practice — as valid, valuable, and worth protecting.

The Takeaway

Mental health isn't just about therapy sessions and meditation apps (though those matter too). It's also about the small, consistent practices that help you feel grounded, relaxed, and connected to yourself. Masturbation, approached with intention and without shame, is one of those practices — backed by both biology and common sense.

Self-care doesn't have to look one particular way. Sometimes it just means giving yourself permission to feel good.

Ready to explore? Check out Lovenjoy's shop for body-safe toys designed to support your self-care routine.